25th annual Fredzee Awards
it finally over? Has 2016 finally come to an end? Between
the rise and eventual election of Donald Trump to the
highest office on the planet and the deaths of such pillars
of common decency and goodness as Gordie Howe, Arnold
Palmer, David Bowie and Leonard Cohen, 2016 will forever
be known as the annus horribilis for the entire planet
and the hangover will last for years.
year, I wrote that 2015 would be remembered as the year
that hope and optimism defeated fear and divisiveness
thanks to the Liberal win in the federal election and
Canadas decision to accept 25,000 Syrian refugees.
Unfortunately in 2016, fear and divisiveness managed to
turn the tables on hope and optimism, thanks in large
part to a megalomaniac pathological B.S. artist named
2016 will be remembered most for the number of celebrities
who left us. Giants like Mohammed Ali, Arnold Palmer and
Gordie Howe in the sports world; and David Bowie, Leonard
Cohen, and Prince in the music industry. If thats
not a heavenly Hall of Fame, I dont know what is.
without further ado, I present to you the 2016 Fredzee
years BIG winners
1) Donald Trump
(The Donalds big win will end up being the biggest
single, self-inflicted mistake the United States has committed
since the Civil War. God help us all.)
Canadas newest arrivals
(For many of the 25,000-plus Syrian refugees who arrived
during the past year, Canada is a paradise many of us
too often take for granted.)
Ottawa football fans
(After 40 long years and two failed franchises, the
Grey Cup has returned to Ottawa thanks to a Redblacks
team that has been in the league just three years.)
years biggest losers
1) Hilary Clinton
(From first female president-in-waiting to also ran,
the Clinton campaign is arguably the most tragic political
story of the past 100 years.)
Federal government employees caught up in the Phoenix
pay system fiasco.
(Some employees are still waiting to get paid income
earned, maternity benefits and overtime dating back more
than a year.)
The idiots who run Phoenix, the morons at Treasury Board
who oversee it, and anyone else responsible for what has
become a national disgrace.
(Donald Trumps victory in the U.S. presidential
election has legitimized half-truths, exaggerations, B.S.
and out-and-out lying as a means to gain political office.
International Stories of the Year
1) The Presidential Election
(In a word, unprecedented.)
The siege of Aleppo
(An international tragedy. One of the worst humanitarian
disasters in recent memory.)
(Attacks in Brussels, March 22; Nice July 14; and Berlin,
Dec. 20, claimed the lives of 130 people and brought into
stark realism that the war against terrorism has only
Canadian Stories of the Year
1) The Fort McMurray wildfire
(Nicknamed The Beast, the wildfire, which
began on May 4 forced the evacuation of 88,000 individuals
and destroyed 2,400 homes and 18,600 vehicles.)
The rise and fall of Tom Mulcair
(After taking over the reigns of an NDP party that
achieved Official Opposition status in the 2007 General
Election, Mulcair presided over their backslide to third
party status in 2015 which resulted in his rejection by
the partys rank and file last spring and his subsequent
resig-nation as party leader.)
Syrian refugee relocation
(Standing in stark contrast to the United States which
slowed refugee claims to a trickle in 2016, Canada took
in more than 30,000 Syrian refugees in the first nine
months of the year, most of whom were women and children.)
Local Stories of the Year
1) City council votes to legalize Uber.
Abdirahman Abdi is killed while being apprehended by two
Ottawa police officers on July 24. Eyewitnesses claim
Abdi was punched in the head and hit several times by
a police baton. The case is still under investigation.
Traffic calming on Viseneau Drive
(Two accidents six weeks apart on Viseneau Drive in
Chateauneuf results in the installation of several speed
bumps on the street months after safety had been raised
as an issue by several residents.)
Ceddar Et Cetera closes its doors putting its famous cow
statue out to pasture for good.
of the Year
The Tragically Hips final concert in Kingston. The
CBC simulcast was watched by an estimated 11.7 million
people, or approximately one third of the nations
population. Those who were lucky enough to be there say
it was one of the most significant events of their lives.
of the Year
(Justin Trudeau gets grilled in the House of Commons
for elbowing his way through a group of MPs. In a poll
taken several days later, his approval rating is as high
Liar Pants On Fire Award
According to the Huffington Post, Donald Trump told 36
lies and untruths during his nomination acceptance speech
at the Republican National Convention.
of the Year Award
Tie between Russian president Vladimir Putin, FBI director
James Comey, and the American media.
Inspirational Story of the Year
This one is a no-brainer. Its impossible to read
about Jonathan Pitre, also known as the Butterfly
Boy, and not be inspired. Despite suffering daily
from a rare debilitating skin disease, the 12-year-old
has become a poster boy for hope, positivity and strength.
After his first stem cell transplant failed, Pitre is
currently awaiting a second transplant in Minnesota.
Feel-Good Story of the Year
16-year-old Olympic swimmer Penny Oleksiak wins four medals,
including gold in the 100-metre freestyle to jump from
relative obscurity into the hearts of an adoring nation.
Story of 2016
Canada Mint employee Leston Lawrence of Barrhaven is accused
of smuggling $180K of gold in his rectum between Nov.
27, 2014 and March 12, 2015. You cant make stories
like that up.
of the Year
(Decorated American swimmer gets busted after making
up a story about being robbed in Rio De Janiero, costing
him millions in endorsements.)
Crazes of 2016
1) Pokémon Go
(At its peak during the summer, this app-based game
had more than 20 million daily active users including
otherwise sane adults like my sister-in-law. Didnt
understand it then. Dont understand it now. Will
never understand it.)
(Idiots wearing creepy clown outfits started popping
up everywhere from Nova Scotia to California sparking
a wave of fake news stories about creepy clowns killing
people. In reality, they forced schools to close for a
day, and parents kept their kids indoors.)
Revenue Source of the Year
The City of Ottawa issues dozens of tickets to Pokémon
Go players swarming municipal parks after hours as well
as more than $12,000 in parking tickets,
of the year
youre a star, they let you do it. They let you do
anything. Grab them by the p--sy. You can do anything.
could put half of Trumps supporters into what I call a
basket of deplorables. Hilary Clinton
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