One for the suggestion box

It's one of life's harshest realities that the older you get the faster time seems to fly by. I mean think about it; shouldn't be the other way around?

When you're young and in a hurry, time often seems to stand still. Chirstmas can't come fast enough. High school drags on forever. University even longer. I'm not sure when the transition came from the dog days of youth to the each-year-flashes-by-in-a-millisecond of middle age. It was slow enough, that I only just started to think about it triggered by my daughter's pending high school graduation.

Where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday that Maggie and I took our first father/daughter vacation to Niagara Falls. Followed by our trip to P.E.I. and our rather eventful vacation in the Outer Bank Islands, when time briefly stood still after she disappeared for 20 minutes while playing on the beach.

I often meet people who remember reading about Maggie when she was better known as the Magster. Today she's an 18-year-old young adult who's about to begin the next stage of her life.

My two boys are both 15 and there's not a day that goes by that I don't tell them how much I love them. Even though the days of snuggling while they fall asleep have long passed, they've been replaced with playing video games together, watching Dr. Who and just spending as much time together as possible, because I know that even this will pass by in the blink of an eye replaced by work and girlfriends.

I also remember the mistakes I made when I was their age. I was a rebel without a cause. Beginning in Grade 9 I ostracized myself from my family and especially my father. In a word, I put my parents through hell. My dad and I barely talked to each other for nearly 12 years.

It wasn't until I got my first full-time job in Montreal that we finally reconciled through our mutual love of Leonard Cohen.

Not a day goes by that I don't regret those lost years. It was well into adulthood before I realized that I am just like my father and I am damn proud of it. But that experience, as unfortunate as it was, has instilled in me a deep desire to savour every minute I have with my own boys.

There was a time, not so long ago, when we would fight every day. Today, I can't remember the last time we had a fight, or I even raised my voice in anger at them. Our relationship has never been stronger and I'm so thankful for that because I know how fleeting this time will be.

So to all you young parents out there who are often told that you should cherish every day with your kids, cherish every day with your kids. It's the best parenting advice you will ever get, because when you get to be my age and your kids get to be my kids' ages you will look back and say to yourself "I wish I had of listened to my friends", but by then it will be too late.

As for the premise of this column, that time should slow down as we get older rather than speed up, I intend to be bring it up with the Big Guy in the sky should the opportunity ever arise, or at the very least, drop it in the suggestion box, assuming they have one in Heaven and assuming that is my final destination.

(If you wish to comment on this or any other View Point column please write to Fred Sherwin at fsherwin@magma.ca)

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